Category: random thoughts

SHORTS: Matapos ang Buong Araw ng Trabaho Circa 2013

Nagpapakasubsob sa amoy ng libro. Maya-maya’y nagsa-soundtrip na at sinabayan pa ng pagbabasa ng mga posts sa university page namin (multi-tasking na ito).

Hindi ko mapigilang mangiti o kaya’y matawa o kaya naman’y mainis sa samu’t-saring kwento ng mga kapwa ko Iskolar ng Bayan. May ilang paksa na ayoko na sanang isinasapubliko pa doon, pero ganun talaga, freedom of expression, ‘yaan na lang.

Alam kong nagmumukha na ‘kong abnormal minsan (madalas na yata?). Buti na lang walang reaksyon ‘tong kaharap ko ngayon. Madalas kaming nagkikita at nagkakasama pagpatak ng alas-tres ng hapon kapag hindi ako umuuwi sa ‘min. Iisang tagpuan lang – sa may sulok ng pantry. Okay din ‘to eh, tahimik. Kumbaga go with the flow lang sa kung ano ang trip ko sa buhay.

Sabagay, ano nga ba naman ang masasabi at maire-react ng PADER sa ‘kin? Haha! Apir! 😀

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I Wish I was Different

“So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them.”

                                        – Charlie (The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky)

I’ve been plagued with so many ‘what ifs’ for months now – what if I was born in a different place and time; what if I’m not the middle child; what if I hadn’t met him and a lot more. It’s depressing when thoughts like these creep in and I just can’t stop them at all. I feel hopeless sometimes. This is one of those nights where I’m seriously thinking what if everything has been totally different.

I wish I could be like that girl. I wish I could be like them who can go out anytime they want to, who can mingle with anyone they feel comfortable with, and who can be in a place where you can maximize what you have learned in college. It’s a pity to think I can never be any of them.

A lot of people have told me, “You’re better than that. You’re capable of doing more than that.” Yeah, I think so too. It’s just that…I can’t. I can’t do it because of reasons others may find ridiculous and pathetic. These are reasons which can either make or break me for the rest of my life. In a society where beauty is defined by the clarity and smoothness of your skin, your height and overall physical appearance; and where success is measured by your rank, salary grade, popularity to some extent and your loads of daily work, I can’t help but be envious.

Image credits to owner
Image credits to owner

I wish I had a lot of money. I’d probably have surgery (not on the face though, but some sort of skin surgery). I’d definitely go on a travel spree or better yet settle abroad where I can be in a totally different environment and meet new people whom I’ll share great experiences with. I wish.

It’s not that I’m ungrateful for what I am and what I have right now, I just feel at times that some people are so much more fortunate than I am. A lot of those I know are back in school, others even studying abroad, some are happily married and are already starting their own family and here I am, sitting in front of my laptop at least half a day every day doing my job and watching variety shows/ movies/ series online, reading novels, writing blogs like this during my free time.

I guess my boredom (although I always have something to do in my cozy space at home) plus the occasional ‘not so good events’ at home are starting to take their toll on me. I’m blessed being able to work from home and meet a lot of nice students every day. My stress level, to tell you honestly, had greatly declined since I changed my job last year. Perhaps, what I need to do now is seriously get a writing job so I can feel that kind of pressure and joy which I used to feel when I was still taking up Communication Research back in the University and for extra income as well to fund my travel expenses.

Okay. There. I feel so much better now. I just had to vent out. I might as well finish this book which I’ve been reading for about a month now. ‘Tis long overdue.

.

Something Random: Pick One

There are times when you can’t sleep no matter how much you want to. So better use that time wisely. You can spend the night by reading a book, listening to music or by writing or listing something…something random.

I did just that. So here’s the result – a dose of my randomness.

1. Books or Boys
Answer: Books. All books have boys, but not all boys have books.

IMG-20131031-00398

book collage

2. Ball pen or Sign pen
Answer
: Ball pen. It’s cheaper.

my favorite ballpen
my favorite ballpen

3. Sneakers or Heels
Answer: Sneakers. It’s much much much much more comfortable than heels.

4. Best Buy Planner or Starbucks Planner
Answer
: Best Buy Planner. Practicality is the best policy.

IMG-20150116-01260

5. Lipstick or Chapstick
Answer
: Chapstick. Only Chapstick.

chapstick

6. Milk or Coffee
Answer
: Coffee. Coffee. More coffee.

coffee collage

7. Novels or Magazines
Answer: Novels. I gotta read more of these!

IMG-20130821-00170_1377056285557_o

8. House or Mall
Answer: House. It got everything for me.

9. Qwerty or Touch Screen
Answer
: Qwerty. The cons of having sweaty hands. Sucks man!

10. Tees or Blouses
Answer
: Tees. Especially vintage and statement shirts.

11. Library or Coffee Shop
Answer
: Coffee Shop. I can bring books in a coffee shop, but I can’t bring coffee in a library.

12. Laptop or Desktop
Answer
: Laptop. It’s such a space saver.

my laptop

13. Beach or Mountain
Answer
: Beach. I don’t literally have to go against the gravity in this place.

Coral View, Bataan circa 2013
Coral View, Bataan circa 2013

14. Cookies or Chips
Answer
: Cookies. They go well with hot coffee.

15. Shorts or Skirts
Answer: Shorts. Not the girly type.

16. Mysterious or Open Book
Answer
: Mysterious. Still waters run deep.

17. Smoker or Drinker
Answer
: Drinker. I can tolerate drinking to some extent, but not smoking. Never.

EDSA Central circa 2011
EDSA Central circa 2011

18. Bowl or Plate
Answer
: Bowl. Mix everything then eat.

bowl collage

Pork Tonkatsu with Double Choco Milkshake at Bubble Tea_170513

19. Spoon & Fork or Chopsticks
Answer
: Spoon & Fork. I don’t even know how to use chopsticks. Poor me.

20. Sweet or Bitter
Answer
: Bitter. Bitter chocolates are definitely healthier.

21. Morning or Evening
Answer
: Evening. I believe I’m a vampire.

22. Rice or Bread
Answer
: Rice. Bread will never be enough.

23. Backpacks or Shoulder bags
Answer
: Backpacks. Always on the go.

backpack

24. Bus or Train
Answer
: Bus. I can sleep here.

25. Cap or Beanie
Answer: Cap. I think I look better in it.

26. Rocker or Balladeer
Answer
: Rocker. There’s just something more in them.

27. Long haired or Short haired guys
Answer
: Long haired. Just because.

long haired guys
credits to owners

28. Pink or Black
Answer
: Black. ‘Tis a no-brainer.

29. Cab or Jeepney.
Answer
: Cab. I don’t like stop overs.

30. Math or English.
Answer
: English. Truly, madly, deeply.

31. Spaghetti or Carbonara
Answer
: Carbonara. I prefer my pasta white.

Xocolat 2013
Xocolat circa 2013

32. Fastfood or Real food
Answer
: Real food. Nothing beats the genuine thing.

33. 2NE1 or Girl’s Generation
Answer
: 2NE1. “This is for all the Blackjack out there! 2015! Are you ready!?”– CL (SBS Gayo 2014)

34. WINNER or GOT7
Answer
: Winner. But uhm, Mark and Bambam are oh so fine as well.

jinwoo gif
credits to owner
credits to owner
credits to owner

35. YG or SM
Answer: YG. Cheers to all the YG Stans!

36. Running Man or 2 Days and 1 Night
Answer
: Running Man. SpartaKook and Monday Couple for the win!

37. Japan or Korea.
Answer
: Japan. Animes first before Idols.

credits to owners
credits to owners

38. Korean Cuisine or Japanese Cuisine
Answer
: Korean. I just can’t get enough of Kimchi, Bibimbap and Japchae.

39. Barcelona or Paris.
Answer: Barcelona. Been dreaming of this since time immemorial. Will go to Paris after.

40. Europe or America.
Answer: Europe. I think I’m better off there.

41. Movie date or Dinner date.
Answer
: Movie date. At home while having dinner.

42. Twitter or Facebook.
Answer
: Twitter. I prefer flooding my Twitter news feed with all sorts of randomness.

43. WordPress or Blogspot.
Answer
: WordPress. I got acquainted with this first.

44. Forgive or Forget
Answer
: Forgive. Always. My sharp memory refuses to forget.

45. More or Less.
Answer: Less. Less is more.

46. Rainy or Summer season
Answer: Rainy. It’s always easier to warm up than to cool down.

47. Jessie J or Riri
Answer: Jessie J. Definitely..definitely Jessie J!!

48. Coco Martin or Piolo Pascual
Answer
: Coco Martin. I prefer his acting style.

49. Sarah G or Bea Alonzo
Answer
: Sarah G. All around performer, box-office queen, best leading lady, down to earth. I’m such a fan!

50. The Voice or American Idol
Answer
: The Voice. I used to like American Idol…I didn’t know about The Voice then.

51. 2D or 3D
Answer: 2D. Japanese anime freak right here.

52. Pokemon or Digimon
Answer: Pokemon. Pikachu and Ash forever!!

credits to owner
credits to owner

53. Mojacko or Doraemon
Answer: Doraemon. I can do a lot with all the gadgets he has!

54. MBLAQ or BEAST
Answer: MBLAQ. Cheondung-oppa and his laughter is the best ever! (Although Joon and Cheondung are no longer members of this group)

55. Big Bang or 2PM
Answer: Big Bang. No questions asked.

56. First Male Lead or Second Male Lead in K-Dramas
Answer: Second Male Lead. I think I have this so called Second Male Lead syndrome.

57. Kim Woo Bin or Lee Min Ho
Answer: Kim Woo Bin. He’s the best thing that has ever happened in my life. ❤

credits to owner
credits to owner
credits to owner
credits to owner
credits to owner
credits to owner

See this link if you want to further indulge. http://www.dramafever.com/news/15-times-we-couldnt-resist-kim-woo-bins-charm/ and/ or watch The Heirs and School 2013. He’s definitely one of the best model-turned-actor in Korea right now! 🙂

Okay. I’m off to dreamland. 🙂

(Images used are mine, unless indicated otherwise)

Lord, I Turn To You

Right now, I just want to explode because of too much emotional burden.

I want to shout out loud and tell the world to shut the hell up.

I want to cry and show them I am also seriously wounded.

I want to disappear and be in a place where no one else recognize me.

 

Can I go now?

Can I just forget all these pain?

Can I just pretend that I’m happy?

Can I stop crying now?

 

How I wish everything is as easy as 1, 2, 3.

Expressing your feelings to your family is just a walk in the park.

Telling them your hurting is as easy as eating an ice cream.

Unfortunately though, it ain’t this way.

It will never be this way.

 

Lord..I turn to You.

Help me.

Heal me.

Make me whole again.

 

I lift up everything to You, Father.

Help me.

Heal me.

Make me whole again.

 

Take this burden and lighten up my load.

Touch my heart.

Fill this emptiness with joy of Your unconditional love.

Make me a better person.

 

I’m so tired of living this way.

Help me.

Heal me.

Make me whole again.

 

Amen.

Sarbey

Para sa isang taong mahilig sa tanungan. May limang taon na rin simula noong una ko ‘tong sinulat. Ang mga sagot sa sarbey sa ibaba ay totoong nanggaling sa aking mga kaklase. Naging pampawala ko na rin kasi ng antok ang pagsasarbey noon. 😀

Sa apat na taong inilagi ko sa PUP sintang paaralan, marami-raming propesor na rin ang aking nakadaupang palad. Mayroong mga propesor na tumatak na sa aking puso’t isipan dahil sa angkin nilang talino sa kung ano mang asignaturang kanilang itinuturo at pati na rin sa kanilang kagalingan sa pagbabahagi ng kanilang kaalaman at karanasan sa kanilang mga estudyante. Sa kabilang banda, mayroon namang mga propesor na sa buong semestre ng kanyang pagtuturo, bawat araw ay hinihiling ko na sana’y matapos na lamang ang kanyang klase sa isang kisapmata. Ang dahilan? Lubha kasing nakakaantok at pareho lang din naman ang matutunan kapag binasa ko ang aking libro. Sa madaling sabi, mas mabuti pang ang libro na lang ang aking basahin at pag-aralan.

May isang tagpo sa isang klase ng mga estudyanteng nasa ikatlong lebel kung saan minabuti ng isang tagaroon na magpakalat ng sarbey upang labanan ang antok na dulot ng porma ng pagtuturo ng kanyang propesor sa asignaturang _ _ _ _ _. Para na rin may pagkaabalahan siya habang hinihintay na lumipas ang isa’t kalahating oras. Heto ang mga nakuha niyang kasagutan mula sa tanong na kanyang ipinikalat na nakasulat sa kalahating piraso ng yellow pad.

November 20, 2008

ANG TANONG: Ano ang iyong masasabi sa porma ng nagyayaring talakayan sa _ _ _ _ _?

ANG MGA SAGOT:

– Muntik na kong maganahang makinig…sobrang enjoy…enjoy matulog…

– The [WEATHER REPORT] à kanta ni Cynthia Alexander. Iyan ang magiging theme song ng _ _ _ _ _ class ng bichiar kay Ma’am!!! Waahah BACK OFF!!!

– Ay? No comment (with matching drawing ng isang mukhang hindi maintindihan na may malaking tenga sabay sabing…) à ang ingay ni ____!

– Di ko alam kung manhid siya o ayaw lang niyang tanggapin na hindi siya karapat dapat pakinggan! Sana pala nagdala ako ng BANIG! Pampatulog ang boses ni ____ à REPLY Hahaha!

– Anong oras na?!

– Nagiging one way ang talakayan. Mabuti pang wag na siyang magturo. Ni hindi man lang niya magawang tumayo sa kinauupuan niya. Sad but true. L

– anu toh?? Sama niu! Ibibigay ko toh kay ____!

– wahah! Tara ibigay nten! Baka sakaling pag-alis niya ng rum na 2 at pgkabasa nito eh magreflect siya!! J

– NAYZ! Good sajeschon!

–  eniweiz, ang bad niyo kay ____. ____ worthy of our atenxon nman e…you know. Sortah kindah chorvah…eniwei may mesaj ako kay ____…____…GET LOST…(with matching super duper smiling fez) haha! JOWK LANG!

– kawawa naman si ____…kawawa rin po tau…

– BORING L

– ang nakabibinging katahimikan sa klase ni ____ ay manipestasyon na may na222nan tayo sa klaseng ito.”Those who think they know it all, annoy us who do”

– kasalanan ba ni ____ kung lagi siyang inaatake ng arthritis? At least wala siyang sore throat, -à DAPAT MAG-ARTHRICIN O KAYA MAG-PAU SI ____ o kung di epektib, manood siya ng Wowowee! Araw2! Wahaha!

– homeroom subject ata napasukan ko (nap time, haha!) Sayang!

– anung kaguluhan toh? Paphotocopy ko toh yih taz pasa kay ____ kasama s nxt assign, hakhak. Alala ko si _ _ _ – _ _ _ _, peo atleast c _ _ _ – _ _ _ _ tumatayo. Hekhekk!

– (drawing ng isang kamay na nakapormang—WHATEVER!)

Lumipas na nga ang isa’t kalahating oras. Marami-raming sagot din ang nakalap niya at nalabanan na rin niya ang antok. Salamat sa sarbey. Uwian na!

Nang I-random Questions Ko ang Sarili Ko…Mahaba-haba ang Naging mga Sagot

Random questions. Inspired mula sa nabasa ‘kong akda ni Juan Ekis, ang Twenty Questions. Nakagawian ko na rin ang magtanong ng kung ano-ano sa mga kaibigan ko, madalas sa mga kasamahan ko sa trabaho ‘pag nagkakataong nakatambay kami sa pantry, para magkaroon ng mapag-uusapan at syempre para na rin makilala sila ng husto.

At ngayon ngang bakasyon ako sa pagtatrabaho, namiss ko na rin ‘tong gawin. Kaya oras naman para i-random question ang sarili ko. Tingnan natin ang mga tanong at mga sagot na ngayon ko lang din pagsasama-samahin.

1. Ano ang paborito mong kulay? (Syempre mga madadaling tanong muna, mamaya na ang mahihirap.)

SAGOT: Black at Green. Pagdating sa gamit (sapatos, damit, gadgets, bags) karamihan talaga ng pinipili ko eh kulay itim. May pagkakataon pang ‘pag binuksan mo ang black kong bag eh camouflage ang mga gamit sa loob. Puro black din kasi tulad ng wallet, pouch na lalagyan ng vanity kit, cellphone, lalagyan ng cellphone, planner at kung anu-ano pa.

Green naman pagdating sa mga bagay sa paligid- kulay ng pader, upuan, wallpaper sa computer/laptop, kobre kama at mga punda ng unan. Malamig kasi sa mata. Hindi masakit tingnan.

2. Ano ang paborito mong pagkain? (Madaling tanong ulit. Hahaha!)

SAGOT: Bilang taong madalas eh walang kapaguran sa pagkain (ang motto ko kasi, ‘Habang may pagkain, kumain ka.’), marami talaga akong paboritong pagkain. Syempre nariyan na ang rocky road ice cream, black forest cake lalo na ng Red Ribbon, cheesecake at carbonara ng Coffee Alley (paborito kong hideout/resto sa Tektite Building sa Ortigas), gravy ng KFC (kung pagkain man ‘tong maituturing), pati fries, mashed potato, steak bowl, chicken ng KFC (o sige, buong KFC na!), pizza lalo na ng Yellow Cab at Shakey’s, at cupcake, muffins at cookies ng Mrs. Fields.

Pagdating sa ulam, syempre ang all time fave kong Pinakbet ay hindi mawawala sa listahan, pati na ang monggo, chicken curry, chicken adobo, atay at balun-balunan na may kasamang puso ng manok na inadobo rin, pati adobong pusit at pritong tilapia! Ang sarap!! Muntik ko nang makalimutan, chocolates!! Kahit anong brand basta tsokolate- hani, chocnut, fun chocolate, lala, toblerone, hersheys, cadburry at maraming-marami pang iba. 😀

3. Ano ang paborito mong inumin? (Syempre ‘pag may pagkain, dapat may inumin din.)

SAGOT: KAPE. KAPE PA. KAPE ULIT. Ay Tanduay Ice din pala! Lahat ng flavours. At ngayon, paborito ko na rin ang TUBIG. Ayoko nang maospital ulit dahil sa pamamaga ng lalamunan. Ang sakit eh. Nakakapanghina ng buong katawan.

4. Kung bibigyan ka ng pagkakataong makalabas ng Pilipinas para mamasyal, saan mo gustong pumunta? 

SAGOT: Sa Espanya. Ever since the world begun, dito ko na talaga gusto pumunta. Sa Barcelona o kaya sa Madrid. Basta kahit saan dun. Pero sana bago ako makarating ng Spain (Yesss! Hopeful talaga ako) eh makapunta muna akong Baguio dito sa Pinas. Anong petsa na o?!

5. Kung mag-aaral ka ulit, anong kurso ang kukunin mo? 

SAGOT: Masteral degree in Communication Research o kaya Public Adminsitration. Pwedeng Bachelor’s degree ulit- Sociology o kaya Political Science o kaya naman Journalism. Kailan kaya ‘to mangyayari? Haaaay…

6. Sinong pinakanamimiss mo? (Ayan, medyo seryoso na.)

SAGOT: Ang Papa ko. Magsasampung taon na namin siyang hindi nakakasama. Nakakamiss lang. Sobrang cool kasi ng Papa ko. Hinehele pa ‘ko nun kahit malaki na ‘ko tapos sa tuwing masasama ako sa Top 10 o kaya sa honor roll, lagi siyang may sorpresa sa ‘kin. Madalas pagkain. Jollibee pa nga noon. 😀

7. Na-inlab ka na ba? (Seryoso na nga. Boom!)

SAGOT: Oo naman. Ayoko nang i-elaborate pa.

8. Ano ang makakapagpainit ng ulo mo? 

SAGOT: Marami eh. Una, kapag pinapakialaman ang gamit ko. Kahit ano pa ‘yan, basta gamit ko, ayokong pinapakialaman. Kung paano ko iniwan yung mga gamit ko sa kama, o kaya sa lamesa eh dapat ganun ko pa rin madaratnan pagbalik. Malalaman at malalaman ko kapag naiba yun ng ayos.

Pangalawa, yung mga babaero, cheater, two-timer, mga nakikiapid tapos kung umasta eh akala mo parang walang nangyari. Naku naku naku!!

9. Sa edad mo ngayong 24 na mag-25 na, sa tingin mo ba magkaka-boyfriend ka pa? (Ang harsh ng tanong sa sarili! Haha!)

SAGOT: Oo naman. Kahit bukas pwede na eh, ayoko lang talaga. Yun eh! Pero seryoso, oo nga talaga. Hindi pa nga lang ngayon o bukas. Hindi pa kasi siya dumarating eh. Ilang taon pa ba akong maghihintay? 😀

10. Ilang taon mo balak mag-asawa? (Pinakaseryosong tanong na ‘to. Pag-isipan nang mabuti ang isasagot.)

SAGOT: Wala pa ngang boyfriend, asawa pa kaya? Well, sa lagay ko ngayon, baka abutin na ‘ko ng 30 nito. Kung magkakaboyfriend man ako sa sunod na taon, eh nasa 26 na ‘ko nun. Tapos mga tatlong taon ang getting to know/exclusively dating/courtship stage. Tapos engagement at ang pinakahihintay ko nang kasal. Yesss!

Pero ang lahat ng ‘to eh ‘estimate’ ko lang naman sa ngayon. Hindi ko naman alam kung ano pa ang pwedeng mangyari sa hinaharap o may mga bagay ring hindi na talaga mangyayari. In the end, let the Lord’s will be done in my life. Okay na okay na ‘ko dun. 😀

Ipagpapatuloy…